Boundaries are not walls to keep people out. They are doors that you choose when to open and when to close so that you can stay safe with yourself.
Simple boundary scripts
Use these sentences as a starting place. You can change the wording to sound more like you.
With a partner or ex
• I am not available for conversations that include yelling. If that starts I will end the call or leave the room.
• I will only discuss our child and practical matters. If the conversation becomes personal or disrespectful I will pause and come back when we are calm.
• I am not comfortable talking about that right now. We can revisit it later or not at all.
With family
• I love you and I am not willing to be spoken to that way. If it continues I will need to leave.
• That topic is off limits for me. Let us talk about something else.
• I hear that you have an opinion. My decision is made and I am not asking for advice on this.
With friends and social situations
• I am tired and I am going to head home now. I will talk to you later.
• I cannot take that on today. I care about you but I do not have the capacity to listen to heavy things right now.
• I am choosing not to drink or use anything tonight. Please respect that and do not pressure me.
With work or ministry spaces
• My work hours end at this time. I will respond when I am back on the clock.
• I am not willing to be spoken to in that tone. Let us take a break and return to this conversation later.
• I can help with one of these tasks. Please let me know which is the priority.