You’re in Control

Domestic violence and abuse at a glance


Domestic violence is not just rare headlines. It is everyday life for many people. In the United States about one in three women and about one in ten men experience physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.  African American women face even higher risk with studies showing nearly one in three or more experiencing intimate partner violence and many reporting both physical and psychological abuse.  Children are often in the middle. Around one in four children will experience caregiver intimate partner violence in their lifetime and many who witness violence are at greater risk for serious physical and emotional problems and for using violence in their own relationships later. 



Types of abuse


Abuse is not always a bruise. It can look like

• Physical abuse hitting slapping pushing choking blocking the door

• Sexual abuse forced sex pressure guilt or intimidation around sex

• Emotional and psychological abuse name calling threats humiliation put downs gaslighting

• Financial abuse controlling all money hiding information sabotaging work or schooling

• Spiritual or cultural abuse using faith culture or community standing to shame control or silence you

• Digital abuse constant monitoring calls texts tracking devices threats and harassment online

• Coercive control patterns of control isolation jealousy and fear that slowly strip away freedom and self trust


Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse where a person with strong narcissistic traits uses manipulation love bombing gaslighting silent treatment and control to keep power over you. It often includes withholding affection or money emotional blackmail and twisting reality until you doubt your own memory and worth. 


If you are a victim here is some downloadable information that may assist you in your journey.

Click here to download.

For family and friends of survivors


If someone you love is living with abuse your role matters. Believe them the first time they tell you something is wrong even if you never saw it. Avoid questions that sound like blame such as Why did you stay and instead ask How can I support you and What feels safest for you right now. Learn basic facts about domestic violence trauma and narcissistic abuse so you understand why leaving is often dangerous and complicated. Offer practical help rides child care a safe place to store important documents or an emergency bag but do not pressure them to leave before they have a safety plan. Remind them that the abuse is not their fault that they are not crazy and that you will stay a steady safe person as they figure out their next steps.

Here is some downloadable information that may assist loved ones in supporting victims

Click here to begin download

Sources and further reading


Centers for Disease Control and Prevention CDC

National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey NISVS 2022 Report on Intimate Partner Violence and related impacts. 


CDC

About Intimate Partner Violence and Sexual Violence national overviews and fact sheets. 


Institute for Womens Policy Research

Violence Against Black Women and The Status of Black Women in the United States documenting high rates of physical and psychological intimate partner violence against Black women. 


Futures Without Violence

Children and domestic violence statistics including estimates that about 15.5 million children in the United States witness domestic violence each year and that roughly one third may be exposed by age 17. 


Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention and other child exposure studies

Children exposed to violence program pages and research summaries on how witnessing domestic violence impacts children and later outcomes. 


Resources on narcissistic abuse and gaslighting

PsychCentral Simply Psychology and other clinical education sites explaining narcissistic gaslighting as a form of emotional abuse and coercive control. 


Sources CDC NISVS Futures Without Violence IWPR and others


Supporting Survivors Toolkit

www.hcdvcc.org


Domestic Violence Toolkit

www.PeacefulFamilies.org




Newsletter

You are not Alone! Sign up for our newsletter to join our community, find out about new products and special events.